If you have been under a lot of stress, resulting in overuse of self-control resources, this fatigue may have led to ineffective coping strategies. Has this ever happened to you? What were the circumstances?
This has absolutely happened to me! I generally take pride in the multitude of healthy stress management strategies that I try to utilize regularly, but I have also had some unhealthy ones. The worst offender is smoking cigarettes. I started smoking when I was 15 years old, I was probably just trying to look cool but quickly became addicted and always smoked when I was stressed/upset/overwhelmed/etc. Cigarettes became a comfort and a friend, always there for me in good times and bad. I had tried to quit a few times but it was usually a half-hearted effort based on what I knew I should do.
I finally quit smoking for real (or so I thought) in March 2011. I was living in California, working as a massage therapist, and in a serious relationship, and had been accepted into a counseling grad program in Sacramento—everything was great! Eventually, life started to get a little more complicated (as it does), my relationship was strained and falling apart and being so far away from my family was very difficult. I had been a nonsmoker for over a year, but suddenly I started occasionally smoking, just a cigarette here and there to help deal with the stress. I eventually decided to uproot myself and move back to Baltimore, break up with my boyfriend, and forego my opportunity to start grad school right away. Needless to say, the whole thing was incredibly stressful and the healthy coping strategies that I’d cultivated simply weren’t enough to help me deal with everything. My two roommates were both smokers, so I convinced myself I was simply going to be a social smoker. I deserved it after all I’d been through, I thought. It didn’t take that long before I was a full-blown smoker again, except this time I felt really ashamed and embarrassed about my habit. I actually continued to smoke cigarettes regularly for a full year before I was able to kick the habit for good (last August).
Being a smoker was so incongruent with my personal values and professional interests in wellness that it was actually becoming stressful, as I was always trying to keep it a secret from people around me. In the end, I am pretty confident that I won’t rely on this unhealthy and ineffective coping strategy again. I’m fortunate to have developed better strategies for when things get super stressful (like acupuncture!) and while I still have some bad ones (emotional eating), they aren’t as dangerous or addictive as smoking. The fact that smoking became a stressor in an of itself helped me quit and will prevent me from using that as a coping mechanism in the future.
JHU Addictions: Reflective Blog 
Ahh, cigs! I totally understand how hard it can be to break away from cigarettes. It sounds like you had a ton on your plate with living so far away from home, school on the horizon, and a strained relationship. It’s weird how people who are so aware of the negative aspects of the behaviors they engage in continue to do so, you know? I always wonder how physicians can be out of shape, smoke cigs, and drink alcohol every night. They’re doctors!! Even relatively intelligent people (like those in grad school at Hopkins :)) still make decisions that we KNOW are wrong, unhealthy, or both! It is wild what we do to cope with stress. Either way, congrats on being cig free!! I am sending positive vibes your way for your continued success!
Greg
Thanks Greg! I guess we are still humans after all 🙂 It definitely made me feel like a huge hypocrite when I was a massage therapist, working at an acupuncture clinic, studying to become a counselor….and secretly a smoker! I felt like all of my aspirations and passions had to do with wellness and helping others be healthy and there I was doing something incredibly unhealthy! Seems like when people reach their breaking point they will do whatever it takes to find relief, even when they know it is wrong/bad/unhealthy/destructive. Sometimes you just have to do whatever it takes to get by! I think this is why it is so important for us to help our clients develop and become comfortable with stress management and relaxation techniques BEFORE they are overwhelmed, because once it gets to the crisis point they are going to do whatever they know and are used to doing to survive.
Ah yes… I feel ya! Honestly, if someone handed me a cig right now, I would totally smoke it. No question. When I walk down the street and pass people smoking, I inhale. Deeply. I smoked on and off in the teens and twenties, but I could always quit pretty easily and eventually stopped altogether once I got pregnant. But them, a few years ago, while in the middle of a messy divorce and trying to date again, I picked it back up. Before I knew it- I was for real hooked, and had a devil of a time stopping. It’s tough, and is a good reminder of how easy it can be to relapse. Great post!
Luna